June 24, 2021

I’ve been thinking about the affairs of what happened with Vee and Dee. I think it’s important to understand that striving for perfection by not failing only leads to more failure. I look back with a sense of grief, this life is grievous, the truth is grievous. I don’t try to drown out my grief with the pleasure or the distractions of this world, I try to understand it, as if the grief is revealing truths I struggle to accept and once I can accept those truths I can get pass the grief. The sorrow may not go away, but the grief can pass. Sometimes we forget about it and it no longer has a hold on us, but we can always expect it to pass eventually, like the rain.

Things are never what it seems, I can’t live my life overtly concern about what other people think. I reflect, I refine, I resolve and I reestablish. I can be overly ambitious, because I strive to accomplish whatever I put my mind to. That’s just who I am. I try to be patience and reserved, but when I am after something, I stop at nothing to get it. I struggle with women alot because I feel I have to lie to get them. Whether it’s lying thru my behavior or lying through my teeth, it’s always a lie somewhere. I love speaking truth, I strive for truth and that don’t work with women. People can interpret you speaking truth is you trying to hurt them when “that truth” could be what you need to hear to heal.

Compassion over criticism wins anyday.

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