June 14, 2021 (revised)

There’s a lot I don’t fully understand in life and especially when it comes to the opposite sex. I think it’s my job to figure out my life purpose and to find my identity in Christ. Truth be told no one ever teaches you that, you have to figure that out by yourself. Certain things people will give you a head start in life by helping you get a job, helping you get a car, helping you get to work, and helping you with getting into school. However, the most important things in life, the most important times of your life, you don’t get helped, you have to figure it out on your own.

People will help you get ahead but never pass them. My father never taught me how to tie a tie or how to shave or how to groom myself. In most cases, I learned from the criticism of not doing. It’s one thing when people who didn’t raise you expect more from you but it’s a whole nother thing when people who raised you expect more from you because they raised you.

God in so many ways, raised me, separately from people. He taught me how to be brave and how to deal with the obstacles in life and to seek his wisdom when I lack understanding. I am a son of man and my father perfectly understands the needs and desires of man but what he fails to understand is that which pertains to God. What God needs and desires from the children of man. It’s very simple. Obedience.

I am not just a son of man but I am also a child of God so I need not waste myself on crafts of this world. I am a child who’s known, owned, and grown by God. But as a child of God, I am more alone than I ever could imagine. As a son of a man I can lie, cheat, and steal to get ahead, yes, there are consequences but it works. With God, it doesn’t. As a son of God, I understand that all is revealed before the father and the father indeed has seen my ungodly deeds.

I tremble in wait of what he might say “guilty” or “pardoned”, I have given up trying to look innocent in the eyes of man, my heavenly father is the only one who can deliver my soul and it is his wrath I seek to be delivered from. My earthly father seeks to involve me in affairs I dare not to get involved in, it is my heavenly father whom I fear. His words, not my earthly father’s words have the power to destroy me or restore me. Because he made me the man that I am.

It’s the wisdom of God not of man that has delivered me from the snare of the devil. It’s the power of God not of man that has bindeth up in me the treasures of God, the virtue of God, sealed in me unto the day of redemption. Just like the fate of those who commit iniquity is sealed, so is that also with me and God. No man knows righteous who acknowledges sin, we must forget about our sins as a snake forgets about its old garment.

We now have a new garment, we can be clothed in righteousness. Our leader, our father has made us new creations. It’s no longer a fight with sin to have obedience with the Lord, it is now our good pleasure to obey and do the will of God. No longer do we have to hide from this world, we can be revealed and all who sees knows that we are God’s people and they fear and tremble at the coming of the Lord and God’s people.

We have so much treasure in heaven that this world is only a retreat that we weep with those who weep, rejoice with those who rejoice in the Lord and encourage one another in Christ who is the head of our bodies. The word of God is dead to those who are dead for those who are dead needeth no thing it, it is only the living that have need. Those who have no need for God are truly dead. The living walks over the places where the dead lay, like Christ walked over the water and as the redeemer walking over the clouds. We shall be above only, never below.

Like Petros (peter) was sinking for a lack of faith, ye many have drowned because they have not believed, but like Peter, the Lord is the one who delivered us out of the water and we walked on the water like the savior, allowing only our feet to touch the water but our bodies did not get consumed. Like Peter, when setting our eyes on the savior, we are saved but if we set our eyes elsewhere, we are doomed.

Like Peter, we all must step outside of the boat of our understanding, because Christ cannot be contained in it. We all must be bold when seeking the father for we come to the father as children, not convicts, to be comforted not condemned, to be delivered not denied, to be saved not slain. For God hates death and wishes for none of us to die but to remain as he is, true and unchanging. For we could have joined with him in the eternal fruit of life but we have chosen the perishable fruit of the lie and when we consume it, it consumed us. We became one with death, the joy of life became bitter and our sorrows were filled evermore.

I tell you God is not a God of the dead for the dead has no regard for whether the sun has risen or fallen nor for what is the season. The dead are absent from the knowledge of God and knew of none that could save them from death and knoweth not who can bring them out of the pit. God is not the God of the dead, we don’t ask God to sleep but we seeketh him while we are alive for our work and duties. The dead do not question the living, nor does it pay any mind for anything of itself, it examines nothing and is buried so that it may not be seen.

The temple of God is not one made by hands but one formed by God. For he prepared himself a place to be risen and descend and we prepare a place in our hearts so he can reign. Any man that can be divided cannot rest, but any indivisible man can always find rest after being broken, it’s the divided man who finds no rest after becoming broken. Any man that seeks to be joined unto a woman seeks that which is dead, for what could be made alive by a man and not be destroyed? Any man that seeks to be joined unto God seeks that which is living, and the living seeks life, the true life is with Christ. For we when we are bonded unto Christ we have truly known life and the life, we knew before Christ was no life at all.

Like the disciples in the garden we all have chosen to sleep, when the son of man was made low so that those who are dead can be lifted, we were weak but when Christ cometh and is lifted, we are strong. We, like Christ, can bear the sins of many but Christ has done this so that we can carry our sins to the cross, but those who carry the sins of others to the cross shall be like unto Christ, guiltless before the father.

For they’re those who have perished for their sins and they are those who perish for the sins of others and I tell you that those who died for their sins have received what they have sown, but those who perish for the sins of others shall not only be made alive again but made better and shall receive a greater reward. The devices of the devil are like toys to a God who is like a man. For what is a man to do with the toys of the devil, it is useless, but a man let those who aren’t mature play with toys and not have true work, we know our work is true. It’s the work of man that makes things possible both good and evil. If a man doesn’t work, nothing is possible, if he does work, all things are possible, even evil. God doesn’t oppose himself.

Good reigns in the hearts of those who love God and those who love God love & Do what is right. For what is an evil man have to do with goodness, or a man who loves God has to do with evil. For when a man turns unto evil, he put away good things. When a man turns unto goodness, he put away evil things. God is not a fool, if you clothe yourself in goodness but inwardly you seek evil you are like a man who sow fields he is ashamed to reap from and when he comes in night to reap from the fields all the fruit is rotten and he reaps death. I’ve saught after a dead thing but when I was made alive by christ, i saught no more. i shall now be called a seeker of christ.

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