June 12, 2021

“Protect & uphold the truth and it will protect and uphold you in your lowest moments. Operate in truth and forsake the lie.” – TheJonJC

I was looking back at some of my old notes, journaling my day and seeing what I was going thru at that time. Some of the best things about reflecting is that it helps you see yourself in a way that only you can understand. My father and Mary contacted me about a church meeting. I didn’t response. I don’t want to address anything with Vee and Dee. Now that the situation is public, they can have it. I have chosen to walk-away that’s the only right/power I have that nobody can take away from me.

People talk about me behind my back and then say something different when their addressing me, all I can say truly is that, I don’t have to be here or deal with nonsense for the sake of appeasing other people. The church is there to judge you, so that you can feel guilty and become “a better person” when in reality, you just get better a lying. So when you think there’s a solution of doing what’s right, in reality there isn’t.

People think goodness and honest is a weakness, when truly it’s a strength. My father has been calling me, I am not interesting in him trying to tell me what he thinks about what I should do, because people been in his ear and want to use him to control me. When he don’t even have control over me. My father is calling me as a pastor not as a father, I don’t want to talk about nobody in the church, they aren’t that important for me to conversate about them with my dad.

I am working on developing myself, I don’t like being accessible at all. The less accessible I am, the more people respect my time and the more people keep me out of there affairs they want me to be involved in. I work hard on trying to respect other peoples time, but when you deal with people who are less than you, they are always going to do less than you. I don’t look at myself as being better than anyone, but some people take that as me not knowing my worth.

I’ve talked to myself about the future of Camper’s Temple and how without me being there, it has no legs to run on for another generation. I am the next generation in line to be there to operate things. I am just not interested in dealing with the foolishness of the women or people there. I thank God for these issues because it made me realized that I need to cut off family and the church for good. There are more important things I can be devoting my time and energy to. I am indebted to no one but God. Evil lurks waiting, seeking whom it may destroy.

I know for me if I don’t live in my truth, my life becomes a lie and my work is in vain, we become laborers for death, seeking a dead thing. We must be wise for death has claimed many and of those who seek, they will return back unto the father. The lie will prosper for a little while but the truth will eventually come to light and when it do, it will purge out any lie that comes from the devil who sows wicked things in God’s field. In the ear, then into the heart where it all starts.

The worst enemies are the ones who you don’t know are your enemies they come as allies and when you are not there they are plotting on your down fall, but truly truly it’s their own pit they dig. When the righteous are delivered, the wicked fall victim to their own devices. It’s there own traps that ensnares them, its there own lies that entangles them. It’s there own games that fools them. It’s there own sword that kills them.

When the truth comes, it shall set free all that have been enslaved and imprison those who have been unrighteous in there deeds. I thank God for the wisdom of the Lord that leads all that fear him and he will deliver you out of the hands of the devil.

I was having dreams about Vee and sleepless nights. When the issues happened, I was fasting from eating food because of how deeply it affected me. I thought to myself, why do I love such a unclean thing? Why do I desire to be joined unto a woman who does not love me nor love the one who sent me. I had to realized that God purposed for me to be rejected as Christ as so that he could receive me unto himself. Better it is to be loved and embraced by God than by a woman. For he will never abandoned you.

Also I believe God put me in that situation so that he could have a testimony against the church, for all the deeds they have done. And man, what I went through I have quite the testimony. I could have said so many things against them but, I desire for them to examine themselves and choose what’s right. But instead they think, “well he don’t know the evil I’ve done, let’s keep this a secret and live double lives, one that’s good and another that is evil. Let’s keep the lie alive by our words and live out our truth in darkness… keeping the truth out of our hearts”

Why does God love such a impure and wicked people? Why does God save the sinner?

The truth is depressing but it’s the only thing that can save you. Ye, I tell you many are dead and do not know it, They are in such deep of sleep they believe they are alive and well, when they are dead. Nothing true is in them, they are children of the lie. They are actors, playing a role but filled with no truth. My father is a pastor, which is a acting job and you have the members of the church who also act. But God is not fooled so why do they do it? They decieveth themselves for the Day of the Lord is coming where no man shall be deceived all shall know who is the one and living God. Their drunkenness will fall and their deeds will be revealed by the light.

I thank God has known me before I’ve known this world. He help me gain the knowledge that I am loved even thou the world has known me not.

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