June 10, 2021

Man, things have gotten bad between Dee and Vee. I kept messaging them because I lack self-control, I am poet, I use my pain and trauma to create, and there’s this desire in me to want to share my creations. I know is strange and weird but it’s like a little kid who spends time doing something and wants to show there parents after they’re done.

I have been going thru it on so many levels but has comforted me in this time. I seek him daily and especially in those quiet moments reflecting. I have seen so many things happen that’s not good, it only makes me happy that I didn’t avoid the issue because it’s better for these things to happen now than for it to be awaiting me.

Women need fathers, but they also need to know God who is the father of all creation. If they only knew their heavenly father, a father figure on this earth wouldn’t carry such a great loss without one. I am realizing things about this world that I am far too displease to even want to mention.

The way that the church is, its so bad. I can see how people attach themselves too it, but I don’t understand how people can believe in a God they don’t even know, because if they knew him they would flee from the church for how wicked it’s been. Knowing that God is righteous enough to reward us but also righteous enough to punish us.

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