June 03, 2021

The battle rages on, I sent Dee a text apologizing to her (again) this was going to be my last text before I blocked both her a Vee, for the sake of me not sending them anymore messages. I have not fully grown or heal from the situation to present a better version of myself. I also blocked my father & mary too, cus he just texted me to call him, I am not going to. I need time and space to heal and grow, I feel like moving out of town to a different state like seriously, it seems like this situation just gets worse.

My battle isn’t truly with Vee and Dee it’s with the Church and how this organization has perpetually been lying to folks, give them a false understanding of God and Christ. This is blasphemy at is finest. How?! How can I be in an environment that project the outward image of godliness yet the inward parts are filthy.

How can people who are truly righteous and of God be at ease or content with evil being the inner works of the church. The lie, the lie, the lie. The lie has always been their savior. They put their hope, trust and faith in it. Put it shall soon be destroyed. Christ shall crush the head of the serpent.

The evils I see in Church is worst than the evils I see in the streets, because they put a veil of godliness. Convincing people that if they go against the Church they are going against God. Fools, fools. They are those who are in the Church knowing that the whole thing is a farce but plays along to be beneficiaries in that evil.

I, a man who as a true relationship with God knows that God isn’t in this evil. God aint in the Church. The church bears his likeness outwardly but is unlike him inwardly. Because of my love for Veronica, I desire to be at church, just to be around her, to see her, and possibly talk to her. However I know that my disdain for how the church operates and its lack of regard for God, It’s impossible for me to want to be there.

I tried to invite Vee outside of Church so she can get to know me, for who I am not just this quiet guy who’s always serious, but that didn’t fall thru. Now im in a beef situation with Dee who thinks it’s better to go against me and betray me that to seek out a resolution. Foolishly she wants to fight me cause of her loyalty to being against me or whatever it is. It don’t make sense at all.

You can not like someone without being openly against them. Vee im sure aint trying to fix this situation but she at least understand that having open stance against me isn’t smart at all, not because of what I will do but because of what it means to be in a situation where you are the one who is bitter. I heard somewhere that hatred is like drink poison and expecting the other person to die.

I’ll be the first to admit when I am wrong but being wrong in the church is rewarded with condemnation, yes the church who is in need of God’s grace themselves are the first to cast stones of judgement. Once again FOOLISH. Do they not know that ye should judge not so that ye not be judged. Do not deny no one grace for we all are in need of it. When I saw Dee she was staring at me with so much anger and resentment, all I could think was, how I didn’t want to do they asses dirty but damn it, if I got to do it then I will. Do I clicked out of holding onto this idea that I have to fight them and start to think about how I can use this situation to develop revelation in the church. No one wants to admit their flaws if their people their who feel it’s their job to judge you where you wrong but won’t help you get better. Because the church don’t want to help people get better, they want to keep them where they’re at because heal/whole/righteous people have no need for church which is like a hospital for the sick.

Bond will be broke, everybody believes theirs a need for change, but no one wants to bring it, no one wants to disturb the lie of sleep and awake those who are dead to the truth. How can we bring change if those who are in charge are upholding traditionalism and falsehood. The strongholds must me broken.

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