This is the post about how self-love has been confused with selfish love. I will brake down the difference between actually self-love and the selfish love that common today. I’ll start with the common misconceptions about what self-love is and how to identify these mistakes in your own relationships.
The lie of “self-love” is birth out of this need for love you desire from yourself that you seek from others. How can you love yourself if you don’t know who you are? Deep down at it’s core inside of everyone there is a yearning for God who is love. Many seek to find love/God in this world that’ll never be able to find, unless they go within. Their is no alternatives of replacements for God’s love. I believe that people seek to find the love of God in things and people. Our parents are the one’s who teach what love is and how to love. Many people are scared from unloving parents.
We live in such as perverted society where we believe that what’s the opposite of love is love. One of the ways to identify what love is, is to identify what love is not. Here are a few ways to identify love:
- yielding yet strong
One of the reason people have such strong misconceptions of love is because they haven’t been shown love, which leads to a path of unloving acts towards others and self.
One of the reason people have given up on find love is because love is a burden, but as the bible says “God is faithful, who shall not allow you to be tempted more than whatever you are able, but shall make an exit for your temptation, so that you can endure.” – 1 Corinthians 10:13 We try to identify God love in others. We ask ourselves this question on a subconscious level, who has the love of God manifested in them so that I can know love and become it? Our search for love is the same as our search to find our-self because we are love.
If we truly understand and know what love is, we can say that love is the unification of Christ and God the father. Them together is the perfect definition of love, there isn’t any better. Here’s why:
Love seeks itself. Love is playing hide and go seek with itself, sometimes when love endures so long without finding itself, it can grow weary. Love shouldn’t worry because in the end love will find itself, because everything goes to where it comes from. When the Jew rejected Jesus, Jesus was resent back unto where he came from, God.
“…I am not alone, but I and my Father who has sent Me.” – John 8:16
“And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.” – John 14:3
When we say I love you, we are expressing that “you are me and I am you, we are one of the same, for me to lose you, I am loosing myself.”
Why is it that Christ and God the Father are the perfect definition of love?
Love is composed of two things and without these two things love cannot exist. These two things are separate but one of the same.
First is observation, you are what you observe. God the Father is the observer of all.
“For I shall teach you; I shall make known to you the way in which to go and I shall set my eyes upon you.” –Psalm 32:8
“The eyes of Lord Jehovah are in every place, gazing on the good and on the evil.” – Proverbs 15:3
“It is a land the Lord your God cares for; the eyes of the Lord your God are continually on it from the beginning of the year to its end.” – Deuteronomy 11:12
So that your charity may be in secret, and your Father who sees in secret will reward you in public.– Matthew 6:4
The Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore. – Psalm 121:8
Similar to how when children are being watched they behave different compared to when they are unsupervised, God is watching us yet we aren’t mindful of it because we are so preoccupied with our own lives. Even in science there is evidence of things behaving differently when it’s being observed. What we pay attention to expands and when we pay attention to someone there’s a love that can develop for that person. Attention is currency and one of the highest non-material forms of payment. It can be seen in children how they yearn for attention even unto the point of misbehaving to obtain it.
The second form of love is, sensitivity. Love requires sensitivity and vulnerability, a willing to be hurt by that which you love even unto death. Have you ever loved someone so much that if that person were to be harmed, it would hurt you? This second form of love is perfectly manifested as Christ Jesus. As the scriptures says
“For we do not have a High Priest who cannot suffer with our weaknesses, but One who was tempted in all things like we are, apart from sin.” – Hebrews 4:15
“Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” – John 15:13
“For in this, because he has suffered and was tempted, he can help those who are tempted.” –Hebrews 2:18
Jesus dying on the cross was the greatest form of love because instead of having us face penalty for our sins, God took the burden upon himself. He sacrificed himself, because that was the only way to atone for our sins.
Love is self-sacrificing
In this world we can only experience ourselves. Everything comes from us to us. You couldn’t become sick unless you’re vibrating at the same vibrations as the sickness. When two things occupy the same space, they become sensitive to one another and become bonded to one another. This is true of sex, family, and matter.
The two forms of love together, observation and sensitive is the true definition of love. What you love is what you observe and are sensitive to. Human being are creation of love, That’s what it means to be human, we are observers who are sensitive to the world. If we are sensitive to this world why don’t we take care of it? If destruction of the world means destroying ourselves why don’t we do better at taking care of our world? If we where to observe the world without being sensitive to it, we would destroy it utterly. If we where to be sensitive to this world without observing it would be hellish and we would utterly destroy it.
Are those who observe evil without participating is just as guilty as those who did? Are those who participate in evil unknowingly just as guilty as those who did knowingly? If child grows up in a broken family without a father and then goes on to recreate their own broken family are their doing the wrong knowingly? Yes, because if they observe the effects of broken families in their own lives and go on to recreate that, then they are guilty because they saw the results of it and did not avoid recreating it.
Its better to have nothing than to bare much that will reduce to nothing
“When you have lifted up The Son of Man, then you shall know that I AM THE LIVING GOD, and I do nothing for my own pleasure, but just as my Father has taught me, so I am speaking. And he who has sent me is with me, and my Father has not left me alone, because I am doing always what is beautiful to him.” – John 8:28
The death of Christ and it’s meaning
Sometimes in order for someone to recognize what they did wrong, it takes you being perfect and sinless otherwise they’ll feel that what they did was justified. We all might have heard the famous words “he/she did it first” “I only did that because they did this”. People seem to always find a justification of their evil by someone else evil acts. One of the most common is from parents, child grow up with this deep hurt and hate stemming from their parents and take it out on the world. As they get older they may be able to realize they if they would have rectify their issues at home they could have had more healthier relationships outside of it. Unforgiving is a bind that takes you to the person that has harmed you and to forgive will free yourself and the other person.
“If you kill a murder, doesn’t that make you a murder yourself? If you steal from a thief aren’t you a thief? If you lie to a liar, aren’t you also a liar?”
You can’t overcome someone else evil by become like them. Hatred is a weakness, love is a strengthen, when you have love you can resist evil. Ask yourself, where did this anger come from? Is this my anger or did this come from my parents? If you’re always anger and hurt its hard to know yourself beyond the hurt and anger version of yourself, you could find yourself saying “that’s just how/who I am” You can even find yourself saying that about others. Believe it or not, but that person wasn’t always that way. The same love that lives in you, lives in that person also. Loving people has made a home for love to dwell in, hateful people has made love a stranger and an enemy, denying and resisting love from dwelling in them.
I believe Christ die show us our sins. Him being perfect allows us to see our imperfections clearly. I had a supernatural encounter with Christ and all I could think about was how unclean I was compare to him and how I didn’t want him to see my in my unclean state, similar to Adam.
People who are evil and wicked don’t like being around people who are righteous because their righteousness is like a light that shows them their evil. People wish to do their evil in darkness to avoid judgment. Today we can see evil being pushed to the forefront and people who are righteous have to do their work in secret. Like unto Sodom and Gomorrah we have normalize our wicked ways.
God loves us, but hates our sins.
“Whoever is from God hears God’s words; therefore you are not hearing, because you are not from God.” – John 8:47
“Therefore faith is from the hearing ear, and the hearing ear is from the word of God.” –Romans 10:17
“But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.” – James 1:22
Some people can’t come to know others because they are so full of themselves. The bible not only says be hears but also doers of the word of God. It’s it important to hear the word because hearing leads to faith. However if we hear the word and don’t do the word we are like one who forgets who they are. We become so preoccupied with the world that we forget God.